


Approach, appear; Let the bough break

by profound-boning (farawaystardust)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Explicit Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Helpful Gabriel, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Alternating, Playlist Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farawaystardust/pseuds/profound-boning
Summary: “The title of the playlist is my name.” That’s the trump card as far as Cas is concerned. No one creates a playlist, fills it with love songs, and then names it after their platonic-best-buddy-friend-bro. No one.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SPN Song Creations Challenge. October theme: ships. My prompt: Playlist 03 "If You Love Me Don't Let Go". Songs I used for inspiration are linked in the text and listed in the end notes. Title from lyrics. Major shoutout to the mods who allowed poor miserable me some extra time in posting. Thank you thank you thank you.
> 
> Additional prompts: “I found your playlist with my name on it and it’s all love songs?” AND “We’ve been best friends since we were little and you asked me out with a horrible pickup line. I assumed it was a joke so I laughed.” 
> 
> rated T for cursing and implied sexual content

The one time Dean Winchester beats Castiel Novak in a game of rock-paper-scissors turns out to be a critical moment in their lives, even though they didn’t know it then.

For losing, Cas is forced to walk several hundred yards from the library to their dorm building to retrieve a necessary textbook for each of them, as well as pillows and snacks.

Cas grumbles the whole way there. He and Dean must have played rock-paper-scissors a million times since they were children, and Dean has _never_ won before.

They have been best friends since the second grade when Cas’s family moved to Lawrence, Kansas from Pontiac, Illinois. Dean and Cas lived in the same neighborhood, attended the same schools, supported each other’s hobbies (Cas went to every single one of Dean’s wrestling matches and Dean never missed a choir concert), and ended up going to the same college. Cas’s twin sister Hannah and Dean’s little brother Sam often hung out with them, but Dean and Cas were inseparable.

The two of them had decided early on in the college selection process that they would go to the same school and request to live in the same dormitory but ask to be assigned a roommate. They had heard enough stories about friends who ended up hating each other after sharing a room and decided not to risk it.

Of course, for Cas, having a separate room means he gets a blessed few moments out of every day when Dean’s presence isn’t lighting him up from the inside out. When he’s not suffocating with the weight of his enormous crush on Dean.

His roommate Gabriel is funny and has a sweet tooth. He’s a good roommate and friend, and he figured out right away what Cas was hiding. Thankfully Gabe hasn’t said a word about it to Dean or any of their other friends.

Dean’s roommate Benny is not in the room when Cas enters. They both got really lucky to have formed good friendships with their respective roommates, but it’d be a lie to say Cas and Benny are particularly close, and the same goes for Dean and Gabe. So Cas breathes a tiny sigh of relief at the empty room. He moves towards Dean’s desk to grab the textbook Dean asked for but is distracted by Dean’s laptop.

Cas stares, astonished, at the screen for several seconds before sitting in the chair. Then he stares some more.

Firstly, the fact that Dean Winchester even knows how to _operate_ iTunes is incredible.

Secondly, the fact that not only does he know how to use it but he uses it frequently (as evidenced by the dozen playlists and the hundreds of artists and albums), and is apparently so… emotional about it is groundbreaking.

As his best friend, Cas knows that Dean is a human being with emotions, obviously. But Dean has always been the guy who lets everything roll right off his shoulders. He’s not callous or unfeeling, just easy-going and carefree.

Clearly, Cas needs to rethink that assessment. He reads the playlists on the left side of the window again.

Playlist 01: GOOD VIBES  
Playlist 02: :( for rainy days :(  
Playlist 03: c a s  
Playlist 04: Road trips!

Only one really catches his eye. That’s… that’s _his_ name, right? c + a + s = Cas. Is this playlist for him? _About_ him? What does Dean feel when he listens to this one?

Cas glances over his shoulder to make sure he’s still alone and plays the first track.

He’s not as well-versed in popular music as Dean is, but he’s fairly sure [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpOULjyy-n8) is older. Classic rock might be the name of the genre. It’s actually a really good song, too. Cas taps his foot under the desk as the rhythm moves through him. It’s evident from the lyrics that the song is about someone’s irrepressible urge to confess their love.

Cas thinks he likes the last stanza the best: _Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore / I've forgotten what I started fighting for / And if I have to crawl upon the floor / Come crashing through your door / Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore._ It’s quite catchy.

[The next song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXDAYlhdkyg) starts up right after and… is this country? Cas thinks of all the times Dean has sworn up and down that modern country music is dreadful, awful garbage, but right here is proof that Dean not only listens to someone who is a current country artist but he put one of their songs on one of his playlists.

The chorus of this song is really quite lovely: _You're an angel, tell me you're never leaving / 'Cause you're the first thing I know I can believe in / You're holy, holy, holy, holy / I'm high on loving you, high on loving you._

He can’t quite stifle the tiny swirl of something warm and hopeful inside his chest. The lyrics make him think of every time Dean has ruffled his hair and called him 'angel,' and he lets himself wonder for the first time if the crush he’s harbored for Dean Winchester isn’t actually unrequited after all.

[The next track](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY) is slow and melancholy but also hopeful and sweet. [The one after that](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjE5D9cHiOk) is like the soundtrack to a cute surprise proposal video. [After that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg) is a piano-led melody about loving your partner’s imperfections.

Cas feels dizzy with emotion. He can imagine so clearly Dean’s voice murmuring these lyrics into his ears, tracing the words into Cas’s skin with his fingertips. This has to be about him.

The freaking title is his _name!_ It _has_ to be about him!

He gets to his feet and carefully rearranges Dean’s desk so it looks like he was never here. With one last glance at the computer, Cas makes his way out into the hallway and up the stairs to his and Gabe’s room.

Pulling his cell from his pocket, he momentarily disregards Dean’s text and writes a new one to Hannah.

 **To: Hannah** **8:03 pm  
** **Han. Meet me in my room. Emergency! :D**

As expected, Gabe is lying on the rug, flipping through the channels on their TV.

“Gabe, you’re not going to believe this.” Cas steps over him and plops down on the futon.

Taken aback by Cas’s noisy entrance and apparently exciting news, Gabe drops the remote and turns towards him.

“What’s goin’ on, Cassie?”

A quick series of knocks interrupts Cas before he can begin, and he shouts, “come in!” at the door. Hannah does a moment later.

“Please don’t use the word ‘emergency’ and followed by a smiley face in a text. That’s sending mixed signals. Are you all right? Did something happen?” She scolds him.

“I think something _will_ happen.” Cas grins at the two of them, Hannah now perched on the edge of his bed. “I was just in Dean’s room and his iTunes caught my eye.”

“Dean uses iTunes? Dean knows what iTunes _is?”_ Gabe cuts in. “One would think with all those cassettes he never caught up to modern advancements in music storage.”

“I know right? That’s why I had to look more closely. And, okay, I feel bad, I do, but he’s my best friend. It’s not like we have any secrets from each other.”

“Except your huge crush on him,” Hannah jibes. But Cas only smiles wider.

“That’s the thing!” He continues. “His playlists are focused on one emotion. The first is happy, the second is sad, and the third is—. They’re all love songs. And they—they’re meant for me.”

Hannah and Gabe stare blankly at him.

“The title of the playlist is _my name.”_ That’s the trump card as far as Cas is concerned. No one creates a playlist, fills it with love songs, and then names it after their platonic-best-buddy-friend-bro. No one.

Gabe’s jaw drops open comically and Hannah looks stunned. Slowly, a smile creeps over her features.

“Oh, Cas, he—. Wow. He made a playlist of love songs for you? That’s amazing!”

“It’s disgusting is what it is,” Gabe informs her, but he’s smiling from ear to ear.

“I know.” Cas exhales a laugh. “Isn’t it wonderful?” He lets his head fall back and stares dreamily at the ceiling. “What do I do next? Do I just up and tell him I saw the playlist?”

“No way,” Gabe says.

“You could just tell him about your feelings, Cas.” Hannah points out. “Now that you know what his response will be, you don’t have to feel any stress about admitting—”

“No no no!” Gabe repeats. “I have a much better idea…”

The next day, Dean stops by at an ungodly hour of the morning.

“Nnngh?” Cas mumbles upon opening the door.

“Dude, what the hell happened to you last night?”

Without coffee, Cas’s brain is functioning at 1% right now. He blinks at Dean, who rolls his eyes.

“Buddy, I called you like five times. Bunch’a texts. You never came back to the library. I brought your laptop and book back with me.”

Slowly, awareness of the situation creeps back into Cas’s consciousness. Right. He’d accidentally ditched his best friend after discovering said best friend has a whole playlist of love songs dedicated to him and stayed up late gushing about it with his sister and his roommate.

“I—. You’re right, Dean. I’m sorry.”

Dean grunts and shifts his weight, pushing the aforementioned computer and textbook into Cas’s arms. “Whatever. Just was weird, that’s all. Pretty sure I looked like I got stood up on prom night or something.”

The implication that Dean was like a distraught teenager in the wake of Cas’s absence makes Cas feel guiltily satisfied. He hides his smile.

“I’ll make it up to you Dean, honest.”

Dean still doesn’t seem placated though, and he grumbles some more. “First time I ever win at rock-paper-scissors and I don’t even get the prize. What gives, man?”

Cas tries even harder not to smile at Dean’s grumpy expression. “I just got distracted. Delivery of your prize was utterly derailed. I really am sorry, Dean. Next time I’ll make the walk, no game necessary.”

“Whatever.” Dean shrugs, and Cas thinks again that maybe some of Dean’s easy-going nature has been a façade all along. “Text me later and maybe I’ll let you buy me dinner.” And with that, he departs for his first class of the day.

Cas smiles all the way back to bed.

:     :     :     :     :

Okay, so maybe being grumpy at pre-caffeine-Cas was relatively pointless, but it still made Dean feel better.

He had been worried sick last night when Cas didn’t return from the dorms. This routine of 'camp out in the library until one of us has to go back for supplies' has been a weekly event since the beginning of the year. It’s April so it’s not like Dean was worried about cold weather, but any number of other things could have happened to Cas out there.

Turns out the little assbutt just forgot. Got distracted. (Not that that really makes him feel much better.)

Sure, Cas doesn’t suffer from the same gigantic, earth-shattering love-sickness that Dean does, but at least Dean has a best friend.

The best kind of best friend. The one who always has your favorite snacks on hand, who keeps your secrets, who laughs with you, who doesn’t let you bring yourself down.

It was very easy to fall in love with Cas, even before puberty really revealed Dean’s appreciation for all types of people. Cas is way smart, extremely kind, and really, really cute.

In the midst of his usual daydreaming, Dean feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

 **From: Cas** **1:16 pm  
** **So I’m buying Bub’s tonight? :)**

Dean sighs and responds in the affirmative, dragging his attention back to the lecture. It’s bad enough to be distracted by a text, worse still if it pulls him into delusional fantasies of Castiel actually taking him out on a date.

They agree to meet at 6:30 at their favorite restaurant, chosen many months ago for its cozy atmosphere, old school architecture, and delicious food.

Despite Cas’s many positive qualities, he has never (ever) been punctual. So Dean slides into his side of the booth and asks their waiter for sodas and brewhaus fries with everything–their usual appetizer–and plans to fiddle with his phone until Cas arrives.

But, miracle of miracles, Cas walks in the door at 6:31. He looks… well, he always looks good, but for some reason is looking better than usual?

Dark and tight-fitting jeans, his favorite sandals, and a brown button down open over a white tee. The combination makes Cas’s eyes look like the clear blue water of a vibrant reef. Dean has to blink several times in order to stop _staring._

“Hey loser.” He nearly chokes on the forced casualness of his speech and uses the excuse of taking a sip of his Coke to peer down at his own wardrobe. Regular jeans, sneakers, and a Moondoor t-shirt. It’s not like Cas showed up in a tie, but he has a distinctly dolled-up air about him. Freshly showered, clean shaven, hair almost tamed? Definitely more polished than he normally looks in class, for starters.

“Dean.” Cas greets him with a warm smile and sits. The timing is perfectly synced with the arrival of their appetizer, and they both order the all-American burger with all the fixings. They dig into the fries quickly, because rewarding themselves with a satisfyingly unhealthy meal at Bub’s is the perfect way to end the week.

Dean feels something brush his knee once, twice before realizing that their legs are tangled beneath the table. The gentle nudge of Cas’s knee sends sparks right through his core, and damn if he won’t selfishly enjoy every moment until it ends.

The pair chat about upcoming tests, events on campus, news from home, and more while they wait. Dean continues to luxuriate in the seemingly unnoticed touches, hoping that it’s not going to get weird.

“So, Dean,” Cas says in a tone that clearly says it’s about to get really weird in here. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you about.”

“Ho-okay,” he replies, wary of what’s coming next.

“Did you know I’m a boxer?”

“…What?” Cas is many wonderful things, but he is not an athlete.

“Because I’ve been fighting this feeling for years.”

Dean just gapes at him for a few seconds before forcing out some breathless laughter.

“That was a good one, Cas. Really, like, a boxer who fights. A fighting boxer. It’s—. Yeah.” He laughs some more just to keep any potential suspicion at bay. He doesn’t want his face or eyes to reveal just how much _feeling_ a pick-up line said in Cas’s earnest voice inspires.

The truth is it hurts like crazy to look into Cas’s azure eyes and hear Cas’s deep voice speak of feelings he doesn’t mean.

Dean’s not quite sure _why_ Cas wanted to drop a pick-up line on him, but he’d suspect Gabe in a heartbeat. That guy will flirt with anyone.

Cas, for his part, now looks entirely uncomfortable. Like ready to pay the bill and go home before the main course.

Although, thankfully, this is the moment that the waiter brings out two enormous sandwiches and a pitcher of water.

“Enjoy!” They call cheerfully over their shoulder, oblivious to the tension that has settled around the table.

Dean picks up his burger and quickly takes a bite, ready to hide behind food for the rest of the night until he can go home and deal with this. A heavy weight rests on his heart. His legs feel a tiny bit colder without Cas’s proximity.

On the other side of the booth, Cas seems to hesitate before picking up his own meal. He keeps his eyes trained on the tabletop and doesn’t make another peep. Which is strange since Cas is notorious for making (beautiful, dream-haunting) moaning noises when enjoying a good burger. But Dean doesn’t know what to say to break the awkwardness either.

They clean their plates in near silence, interrupted only by the waiter. Cas fails to cover a wince when Dean asks for separate checks, which is confusing since they always pay individually?

A dark wave of dread washes over Dean. What if Cas found out about his crush? What if he was trying to be gracious by paying for their food? Worse, what if he was poking fun at it by dropping a pick-up line? Oh God, Dean might actually be sick at the thought. Cas is his best friend; he wouldn’t do that, would he?

He woodenly signs the receipt and wishes the waiter a good night before stepping out into the chilly night air. He knows Cas is trailing behind him, he knows this is the part where they brush shoulders and agree to meet in someone’s room for a movie or something, but Dean can’t bring himself to do it.

“I better get to bed. Feeling exhausted.” The excuse tastes like ash on his tongue.

He turns in time to see a deep frown on Cas’s handsome face.

“Sure, Dean. If—if that’s what you want.”

Well, no, that’s not what Dean fucking wants. He wants to curl up around Cas on his cushy futon, bicker over which Indiana Jones film to watch before just marathoning all of them, and then head to bed together and get a sweet goodnight kiss. But that’s not what he’s going to get, ever. Tonight made that perfectly clear.

“See you around,” he says before making his way to the Impala. In reality, tonight will be a Doctor Sexy marathon and indulging in some of Benny’s illicit gifts from home–a little coke and a lot of rum won’t hurt as long as he stays at home with his phone firmly off.

“Dean.” He hears Cas’s gruff voice from behind him and turns around.

Cas approaches the vehicle slowly, with his fists clenched and an unhappy furrow between his brows.

“Did—did I do something wrong?” Cas finally grits out. He won’t meet Dean’s eyes.

“What d’you mean Cas?” Dean asks him.

“I found the playlist. I didn’t mean to! I just—. It was there and I—. I clearly misunderstood.”

Dean feels nothing but heart-stopping terror at the confession. Holy _fuck,_ Cas saw _the_ playlist? The one he’s been painstakingly maintaining since their junior year of high school? The one he acts like he doesn’t know about iTunes in order to hide? The one he listens to when he lays in bed and daydreams about Cas? _Shit._

“Uh, you weren’t supposed to see that.” They both wince. “I just—” Dean’s brain catches up with the rest of what Cas just said. “Wait, what did you misunderstand?”

Cas shifts his weight over his feet, noticeably uncomfortable. “I listened to bits of some of the songs. I—I made an assumption based on the content. It was suggested to me that I invite you to dinner and then let you know that I—that we—”

Hope swells like a tangible thing in his chest cavity. “That we what, Cas?”

Those too-blue eyes finally rest on his own.

“That we feel the same way. That I am also high on loving you.”

Oh damn, Dean just has to laugh at that. “Cas—shit, Cas, that was funny. But I—. Hey—” Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have laughed. Cas’s face had crumpled at the sound. “Cas,” Dean soothes, rubbing the shoulder he’d gripped when Cas turned as if to flee. “I didn’t mean—. I wasn’t laughing because it was stupid. I’m just so fuckin’ happy. And relieved! And like—. Wow.”

He feels giddy, lightheaded, like he might float right off the ground. Cas looks like he might be experiencing the same kind of hope that Dean feels overflowing from inside of himself. They’ve drifted a little closer together now, standing a foot apart in a dark parking lot. Dean lets his hand drop.

“I was told to use a pick-up line. We came up with it based on the first song, the ‘Can’t Fight This Feeling’ song.” Cas tells him, eyes shining.

“We? Who—? Gabriel.” Dean sighs. He could’ve guessed. “It was a horrible line, Cas.” He has another realization. “And you—you tried to pick up the check didn’t you?”

“Guilty,” Cas admits. He moves even closer to Dean now, backing him right up into the Impala’s door. They both chuckle at the 'oof' noise Dean makes.

“So.” Dean awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “Is this the part where we… y’know.”

The smile on Cas’s lips stays the same but the glint in his eye makes Dean think Cas absolutely knows what he’s talking about.

“What would I do without your smart mouth?” Cas quotes.

“Oh you little—” Dean doesn’t get to finish his (no doubt witty) retort, because Cas steps forward to close the distance, both hands cupping Dean’s jaw. Dean doesn’t push away from the Impala, just brings one hand to Cas’s collar and the other to his back pocket and drags him even closer.

Later–much, much later–they lay curled up in Dean’s bed. Dean is resting his head under Cas’s chin and tracing lines down his rib cage. Cas drums down the column of Dean’s spine and presses kisses intermittently into his soft hair.

“S’why I was so upset during dinner,” Dean speaks quietly into the relative darkness. “I’ve loved you for so long, it felt like you were making fun of me with that line. Like you had found out and you were trying to let me off with a joke.”

Cas’s arms squeeze tighter around his shoulders, his fingers caressing the skin above the waistband of Dean’s boxer briefs.

“Never,” he says, and then pauses to plant another kiss. “Never did I imagine that you would feel the same for me. Seeing the playlist last night was so distracting because I thought I was in a coma or something. Like all my dreams had come true.”

Dean hides his smile in Cas’s bare chest. “Sap,” he mutters.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs mentioned: Can’t Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon, H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line, Unsteady by X Ambassadors, I Choose You by Sara Bareilles, and All of Me by John Legend
> 
> [on tumblr](http://profound-boning.tumblr.com/post/153245593769/approach-appear-let-the-bough-break)


End file.
